Chapter 1.8- Fast Forward

The streets were dark and cold, and something like snow began falling on the streets. But I had no time. I was bleeding heavily and I carried two small babies under my dress. Luckily the hospital wasn’t far from my apartment building, so I sprint as fast as I can.

The moment I stopped running, the blood started pouring down my legs and the nurses whisked me away, and took away the babies. I didn’t argue with the nurse and let her take them, as I had no clue if they were healthy or not.

A doctor took several tests on me, checking that I was okay and the bleeding had stopped. But once finished, he asked me questions like “How did you not know you were pregnant?” and stuff to do with that subject. I simply replied “I just didn’t know.” and said over and over again “Are they okay?”. Two hours after arriving at the hospital, I was left alone in a plain white room, and I wore a light green hospital robe. I lie there thinking about all the events that took place that evening, and how on earth this ever happened.

I had given birth to Lee’s babies, and I had no clue I was even pregnant. There must have been signs? I was only ill on the island, and I had gained only a small bit of weight, which I thought was the ice cream from being depressed. But here I am, in hospital, two hours after giving birth.

Finally, a nurse brings two little babies, dressed in clean clothes, into my room and places them in the empty cot. Slowly, I walk across the cold tiles and stand by the cot, looking at the two babies that lie there. The nurse says “Miss Harley, I unfortunately have some bad news. Your son, there was a problem in the womb as he was growing and he might not be able to walk as he is older.. We can always try to strengthen the legs in a year to help encourage growth, but…”

“Stop… please…” I interrupted. By sons life was ruined because I didn’t bother to check if I was pregnant. Its my fault…

“The boy is on the right, and the other baby is a girl.” The nurse says, before leaving, giving us privacy.

The days that followed were full of tears, anger and loneliness. All I wanted was for Lee to come pick me up and we will live happily ever after, but I had no clue where he was and I still was angry at him for sleeping with my sister. Georgia, it’s been so long… But my only option was to call someone who I hoped would help me.

The morning after I was admitted into hospital, Cliff came to pick me up, and the twins, and took me home after tonnes of paper work, talks and advice about having a disabled child. But that word will never be used in front of my little boy. He will grow up like any other child.

I asked Cliff if he would stay with me for a while and live in my apartment, and he was happy to accept. He seemed more excited about this than I was, but I was so glad he was okay about me having twins with another man. He helped me feed, change and entertain the twins and he also helped me name them. Alex and Abbie Harley were brought into the world on Tuesday the 22nd of December, and this Christmas was going to be a fun one.

24th of December, me and Cliff sit down to watch a Christmas movie once the twins are asleep. He looks towards me with a face that says I want answers. We hadn’t really talked since the twins were born, and he obiously wanted to know the story about what happened the other night.

“Erin…”

“Please, Cliff. Not tonight.”

“Yes, tonight. Otherwise you will never get this off your chest. If you tell me now then everything may line up for you. You could be able to look at your kids and be happy.”

“Who says I’m not happy?”

“I see it when you look at them. Your upset with the man who did this.”

“Yes… he used me, and I let him. Tha’s why I’m upset.”

“No, there’s more.” He wasn’t forcing me, but Cliff had a way of getting to me. Just with his eyes staring at me, all of my story flooded out. I told him about my boss who raped me, Jacob who almost raped me, and Lee who I let rape me. He didn’t looked shocked, or try to ask me questions. Cliff just listened, and watched.

“Then my sister came to the island and I found her having sex with Lee. So I took the next flight home and rented this apartment. Four months later, I meet you.”

“And you had no clue you were pregnant?”

“Not at all.”

We sat in silence for a few moments before the tears eventually ran down my face. He was right, talking made me feel so much better.

“Thank you…” My head fell onto his shoulders while I cried. He didn’t back away and instead stayed right where he was.

Things took a turn for me, and life seemed to fall into place. Christmas was a wonderful day, and Cliff helped put up some decorations the night before.

Together we cooked an amazing turkey and ate it alone in the kitchen while the twins had a nap. Once we ate it, Cliff yelled out “Look outside!” And together we stood by the window looking out at Bridgeport. The city was covered in snow! It truly was turning out to be a perfect Christmas.

Without putting on a coat or gloves, we ran out onto the empty deck and gathered snow up to build a snow man. We giggled and laughed, throwing a snow ball at each other ever now and then. It was great fun.

But soon christmas finished and spring came flying in, then summer. And before long, the twins were already growing up fast, Abbie was learning to walk and talk, where Alex was just talking. Even though he couldn’t do what his sister could, he loved to laugh and play. They were best friends and couldn’t be pulled away from each other.

 

I couldn’t help but see Lee in his kids, more in Alex. He is an exact replica of his dad, but I fear he will never get to meet him. But for now he has Cliff, who is an angel sent from heaven. He loved to teach Abbie how to walk and play with her. I know you shouldn’t have favorites, but Abbie was defiantly a daddy’s girl.

And when he was with Abbie, I would try my best to keep Alex as happy as possible, teaching him as much as I could, and even attempting to strengthen those legs. But I’m loosing hope.

 

And as for me and Cliff, we are officially dating. Raising the twins brought us closer together and we continue to go out and have dinner or go to the beach. Cliff didn’t dare touch me inappropriately until I was the one to initiate it. Eventually I gave in and we shared a kiss, and many more after that. This time, I think I’m going to be okay.

 

Everything was perfect, but of course, it doesn’t last forever. My life changed, again, on a summers day as me and Cliff took the twins on a walk through the park.

“It’s a beautiful day today, isn’t it?” He says as we slow down by the kids play area.

“It really is. Should we let them play for a while?”

“Perfect idea. And I need to talk to you about something.”

“What about?”

“I’l tell you once these guys are sorted.”

Should I have panicked? Cliff wasn’t gonna break up with me was he? No… at least I hope not. We take them out of their strollers and help them onto the play area. Like always, they laugh and cheer with joy, something I love about them.

 

“Okay, they are playing, so what did you want to talk to me about?” I ask with curiosity.

“Right. Well, Erin, I just wanted to say thank you.” He puts on a smile.

“What ever for?”

“For bring yourself and the twins into my life. I have never been so happy before, and now I have you and them,  everything is perfect.”

“Cliff…” A smile now creeps up onto my face. I hope he is doing what I think he is.

 

“Erin. I love you so much, and I want to prove it. I don’t care what happened to you before, all I care is about is our future. So…” He slowly bends down onto one knee and pulls out a little black box. “Will you marry me?”

 

“Yes! Of course!” I yell without even thinking. Cliff slides the ring onto my finger and I stare at it in shock.

 

He pulls me into a hug and I feel so happy. Cliff hold me tight, but when I look over his shoulder, it’s like the whole world has crushed on top of me and I feel like I’m about to die. There, standing in Bridgeport park watching me and Cliff is the one person I thought I would never have to see again. I want to scream out his name and kiss him, but as he can see, I just got engaged.

 

“Lee…” I whisper, and I think Cliff hears.

“What?” He pulls away and looks at me with concern.

“He’s stood right there behind you…” Slowly, Cliff turns his head and notices Lee stood there. But Lee just walks away. I want to chase him, so badly.

 

“Are you sure that was him?” Cliff asked, looking back at me now.

“Yes… maybe… I don’t know.”

“Then lets forget about him. We have a future together now.” I wanted to fight back, but Cliff was right. Lee was not part of my future anymore, and never was. I have two beautiful kids, and an amazing fiancee, who I love.

“I agree.” He smiled and we hugged again. This time, Lee was no where in sight.

But that wasn’t it. On arriving home, a letter was on the floor by the door. I recognized the hand writing, and gasped as what was written on the paper.

Erin,

I came by and you were not home. I am so sorry about what happened and what you saw, and I know I have left it for too long. I am dying to see you again. Please can we meet, outside Eugi’s  at 7pm tonight.

Lee x

What was I supposed to do? Go, and possible destroy my relationship with Cliff, or stay here and never know why he did those things to me. What should I do?

“Cliff… He’s been here. Lee is defiantly in town.” I say once I finished reading the note.

“What? What was on the note?”

“He wan’t to meet me, tonight.”

“Well, obviously you can’t go.” Cliff orders as he puts down Abbie.

 

“I can’t go? Cliff, I have to.”

“No you don’t. You don’t love him anymore, don’t you?” He says, staring into my eyes.

“No… but I have other reasons to see him. Like my sister. I haven’t seen her since that trip.”

“Thats not enough.”

“What about the twins? They are his kids, so he deserves to know.”

 

Cliff looked as if he was going to burst into tears. But instead he just dropped his head.

“You’re right. But please, promise me you are never going to see him after tonight.”

“Cliff, what if he want to see his kids?”

“He can’t.”